Saturday, August 4, 2012

Do You Need Any More Things?

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Once upon a time a friend or co-worker gave you a gift. Or they told you they had a gift for you. To which you responded immediately with "Oh, I have one for you too!" Then out to the store you ran to buy something; walking straight through aisle after aisle asking yourself what this man needs! So began the each year enforcement of giving a gift to that person.

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That list seems to grow and convert each year as you move straight through life. Years later you find yourself wandering straight through malls and shopping centers looking for that obligatory gift and wondering why you are spending way too much time doing this when you could be decorating the house, playing in the snow or laughing with friends over cocktails.

I'm with many of you on this one. I love and hate this time of year. I love catching up with people, looking the decorations, and partying like it is 1999 (oh to be 8 years younger). I get a kick out of the "holiday spirit" in mall parking lots. I love the quest to find the most useless, tasteless, unusual or bizarre gift I can find for a puny competition I've had going on for years with a friend in South Dakota.

But there is one thing I hate doing (yes, I'm whining), figuring out what to do with the gifts I have no use for. The anxiety that accompanies re-gifting is just not fun. Who gave me this? I hope it wasn't you.

Honestly, I don't need gifts. I buy myself what I want. What I do need are great friends and great family. I need great times and experiences, not things. How about you?

So I let my two destructive dogs do what they do best - Destroy! I let them eat my list this year. I sent an email to the list telling them I am not buying them anything. I am ending the tradition. I am starting a new one.

A few weeks ago I associated with a local youth services assosication and asked how I can help. To make a long story short I adopted a family for the holidays. I mean it when I say I need great friends and great family; and I have those. I don't need things. But there are citizen out there who could use some things. So after just deliberation I adopted a family. I was sent their names, address and gift list.

The list started with things like a coffee maker, bathroom set and a comforter - things that you and I might take for granted. Heck I saw a coffee maker in a pharmacy just last week. Wow, is a lot of money for someone; so much money that they have to wait until a holiday. How's that for perspective? I kept reading. There were two digital cameras, an X-Box 360, a laptop, a television, a winter coat, and a Nintendo game. Cha-Ching!! At first sight a bit more than I had expected; I did have a budget in mind when I decided to do this.

So here I am mental that this was maybe a bit more than I had budgeted for, but I want to make this happen for this family. I conception about all those useless gifts I received over the years and how things like technology might make these kids excel in school, instead of ending up on the streets or dealing with peer pressure. My mind began to wander...........

I know! I'll tap into my network. I've got one or two friends who know how, where, when and what to shop for. You know the types; they're at the store at ungodly hours when there are the extra discounts, and then they have a coupon and then they use the store reputation card which offers even more of a allowance and Voila!, they do their whole holiday shopping for .95; the rest of us have spent ,995.00 on the same stuff. Listen, not many guys have shopping envy.

One friend looked at the list and immediately started with negativity about how ungrateful these citizen must be and how they will probably sell the stuff to buy crack and cocaine. Thanks for your help I thought. Someone else person's response to me was "Good Luck!" A third man recommend I ask for donations from the friends I am not buying gifts for this year. Hey, at least she offered a possible solution.

I didn't know what to expect when I decided to do this. In the past I've dropped gifts off in boxes or on some organization's doorsteps. I wanted to be a part of something bigger this time; and bigger in this case is just one family. I didn't ask questions and I went into it with blind eyes. With this decision I now see myself having three options:

o I can back out on my offer and just make a cash donation to the organization

o I can stretch myself (I'm not just talking financially) and make this happen

o I can do the best within the budgeted amount

We always have options. I know sometimes we don't think so. I know sometimes we think we get ourselves in some deep crap. But there are always options. Recently I was talking with man who had the choice of quitting her job or being in the middle of a legal battle. She didn't do either. She negotiated herself a nice severance package. Like I said, there are always options. Don't ever forget that.

So with that in mind I encourage you, at the next opportunity, to seek out a new project with blind eyes, embrace the project as to all the possibilities, and avoid those who try to take you down in the process. It will do wonders for your personal and expert growth.

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